Improving Ourselves and Others

Improving Ourselves and Others

August 3, 2008

Introduction

As we live our lives from day to day, I’m sure that most of us think of ways that we could really improve someone we know, if they would only listen. Sometimes the errors in the lives of those we know just seem obvious. Maybe they are spending their money for the wrong things. Usually that means differently from the way we would do it.

It might be that we notice that they are not eating the healthiest foods, or it might be that they really don’t dress the way we think they should. It could be that they are making grammatical mistakes. Or maybe—just maybe it’s worse than any of these things: Maybe they are grouchy, irritable, and hard to get along with. What can we do to help people who have these problems?

Remember, all of this is a matter of our judgment of others. What does the Bible say about judging?

Body

I. Jesus concluded His Sermon on the Mount with judging others and ourselves.

A. Real improvement comes by judging ourselves first and others with love and understanding.

(Mat 7:1-4 NKJV) ""Judge not, that you be not judged. {2} "For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. {3} "And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? {4} "Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye?

B. Jesus doesn’t say there is never a case when we can help others with a problem.

(Mat 7:5 NKJV) "Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

1. How do we properly correct someone?

(Mat 18:15-16 NKJV) "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. {16} "But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that 'by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.'

2. Sometimes there are matters that we must confront.

a. Problems range from the very simple: “Would you hang your clothes?”

b. Some problems are much more serious.

c. Whether simple or difficult, we need to always correct with the right attitude and in love.

B. The Apostle Paul also commanded self examination first.

(2 Cor 13:5 NKJV) "Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?; unless indeed you are disqualified."

C. Peter recommended to Christian wives that they first work on themselves before working on their husbands.

(1 Pet 3:1-8 NKJV) "Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, {2} when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. {3} Do not let your adornment be merely outward; arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel; {4} rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

1. Peter also addresses the husbands.

(1 Pet 3:7 NKJV) Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

2. Actually, we are all to work together.

(1 Pet 3:8 NKJV) Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous;"

D. What do these three have in common?

1. As a first obligation, examine yourself.

2. Teach or improve others by example.--This is true also of elders.

(1 Pet 5:1-5 NKJV) "The elders who are among you I exhort, I who am a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, and also a partaker of the glory that will be revealed: {2} Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by compulsion but willingly, not for dishonest gain but eagerly; {3} nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock; {4} and when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that does not fade away. {5} Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for "God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.""

a. Even elders are to lead first by example--sometimes that may not be enough, but it needs to start there.

b. Our example is Jesus who is described as the Chief Shepherd.

(1) Shepherds lead and feed.

(2) They do sometimes have to correct, but it must always be done properly.

(Titus 1:9 NKJV) [An Elder must hold] fast the faithful word as he has been taught, that he may be able, by sound doctrine, both to exhort and convict those who contradict.

II. We can only be sure of improving ourselves.

A. We have no assurance that we can change a husband or wife.

1. Dating should be a very important time for young people because it is a time of evaluating the other person

2. It is a time of negotiation--if things don't go well, you can always break off the relationship.

3. Be as sure as possible that changes are genuine, and not just for the moment to make you happy.

B. When things go wrong in marriage, you are the only one you can change for sure.

1. You can look for helpful ways of solving a problem.

2. We can discuss problems we perceive, but attitude is so important.

3. Sometimes when we change, others will help out.

C. Shepherds, and Christians are to lead by example.

I'd rather see a sermon

Than hear one any day;

I'd rather one should walk with me

Than merely show the way;

For the eye's a better pupil

And more willing than the ear;

Good counsel is confusing

But examples always clear.

And best of all the preachers

Are the men who live their creeds;

For to see good put into action

Is what everybody needs.

I can soon learn how to do it

If you let me see it done;

I can watch your hands in action,

But your tongue too fast may run.

And the lectures you deliver

May be very fine and true,

But I'd rather get my lesson

By observing what you do;

For I may misunderstand you

And the high advice you give,

But there's no misunderstanding

How you act and how you live.

-- Edgar Guest

III. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus spoke of the need of forgiveness.

(Mat 6:14-15 NKJV) ""For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. {15} "But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.":

A. Where appropriate, we must have a spirit of forgiveness and reconciliation.

1. I don't mean to imply that we should forgive our children as a substitute for correcting them.

2. I don't advocate freeing criminals and calling it forgiveness.

B. Forgiveness needs to be a part of our working with others and pardoning, or overlooking minor things that are not significant.

Conclusion

I. We are not perfect, so we need to work on our own faults, and loving help others with theirs.

II. God has made provision for our forgiveness if we are willing to respond to His invitation.

III. If you are not a Christian, you can become one if you are willing to obey the gospel.

Bible Study with Harley Sermons I have Preached

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