Choosing Your Friends Wisely

By

Becky Rene

 

Choose Your Friends Wisely

 

“1. My sons and daughters, choose your friends wisely in the days of your youth, for they shall determine the way you go. 2. A good friend rejoices with you in the praise of God but a bad friend fills your heart with violent thoughts. 3. A bad friend entices you to do evil but a good friend prevents you from sinning against the Lord. 4. A good friend praises you when you speak words of wisdom but a bad friend laughs when you cuss and blaspheme. 5. Good friends will rejoice with you in the days of joy that lie ahead but all the wicked together will despair in the futility of their lives. 6. The Lord knows all your thoughts, He hears every word that comes out of your mouth, and He observes all your deeds. 7. Seek, then, friends who meditate on God’s word, friends who delight in edification, and friends who are zealous in good works. For you are not unaware of the reward awaiting the righteous and you not ignorant of the punishment prepared for the wicked” (BOW).

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Introduction

 

1. Do you girls know who influences you the most? It is…

 

a. Your parents.

 

b. Your teachers.

 

c. Celebrities (pop stars and movie stars).

 

d. People in authority.

 

e. Your friends.

 

2. Now who do you suppose has the most influence on you as teenagers? Well, probably celebrities and your friends.

 

3. Today we are going to talk about the influence that friends have on us and how we should choose our friends carefully.

 

I. Do you even Care about Pleasing God?

 

A. Now you girls are supposed to be Christians and you were baptized weren’t you? So that means you want to do what God wants you to do don’t you? Look at what the Bible says about that…

 

1. We are Christians and so we want to do what God wants us to do.

 

"So as to live the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for the lusts of men, but for the will of God" (1 Peter 4:2 NASBR)

 

2. If your mind has been changed then you will be doing what God wants.

 

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect" (Romans 12:2 NASBR)

 

B. So what happens now that your mind has been changed and you want to do what God wants? Do you think you will just know what God wants without trying to find out what God wants? No. If you want to know what God wants then this is what you have to do…

 

1. You have to find out what God wants:

 

Don't act thoughtlessly, but try to understand what the Lord wants you to do” (Ephesians 5:17 NLT).

 

 

2. You can only find out by studying your Bible:

 

"Study to show yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth" (2 Timothy 2:15 NASBR)

 

"Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so" (Acts 17:11 NASBR)

 

II. Bad Company Corrupts Good Morals

 

"Do not be envious of evil men, Nor desire to be with them" (Proverbs 24:1 NASBR)

 

A. Now look what the Bible says about hanging out with bad friends…

 

"Do not be deceived: Bad company corrupts good morals" (1 Corinthians 15:33 NASBR)

 

1. Now it says that “Bad company corrupts good morals.” Look at those girls in your school and listen to how they talk and look how they behave and you will see that it is not good. Now think very hard and answer these questions…

 

a. Questions:

 

"Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person" (Colossians 4:6 NASBR)

 

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear" (Ephesians 4:29 NASBR)

 

1) Do those girls use bad cuss words? I am not going to write down cuss words because you know what those words are that I mean.

 

2) Do they use ugly words like “fool” and “shut up” and “stupid” and “idiot” and words like that?

 

3) What do girls talk about most of the time? Write those things down here (Don’t worry, I will not be shocked)__________________________________________________________________________

     __________________________________________________________________________

     __________________________________________________________________________…

 

"Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments," (1 Timothy 2:9 NASBR)

 

4) Do those girls wear short skirts (above their knees) and short tops so you can see their midriff? 

"Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation" (1 Peter 2:12 NASBR)

 

5) Now think about how those girls behave in class, at recess, and going home on the school bus. Write down how they behave and write down how they show disrespect for adults:

     _____________________________________________________________________________

     _____________________________________________________________________________

     _____________________________________________________________________________

 

b. Now if you can see girls like this in school then those girls would be “bad company”.

 

2. Now if you are a good girl and you do not do any of those things then do you know what will happen if you make them your friends? You will become just like them! (Proverbs 22:24). That is what it means when it says that bad company “corrupt good morals”.

 

3. Now some of you girls might be saying, “Oh, if I hang out with bad girls then I will not become a bad girl.” Hmm! That is why it says “Do not be deceived.” That means you must not fool yourself into thinking that hanging out with bad girls will not turn you into a bad girl. The Bible is God’s word (2 Timothy 3:16-17) and if God says that is what will happen then that is what will happen (Psalms 111:7). So you have to stop thinking like a silly girl and saying silly things and be mature (1 Corinthians 13:11; Proverbs 22:15). If you hang out with bad girls then you will become just like them.

 

4. So, you can see that you have to choose your friends very carefully don’t you? Now if hanging out with bad girls turns you into a bad girl then what do you think will happen if you hang out with good girls? Look at this...

 

"He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm" (Proverbs 13:20 NASBR)

 

B. Look what the Bible says about choosing friends…

 

"Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, I WILL DWELL IN THEM AND WALK AMONG THEM; AND I WILL BE THEIR GOD, AND THEY SHALL BE MY PEOPLE. Therefore, COME OUT FROM THEIR MIDST AND BE SEPARATE, says the Lord. AND DO NOT TOUCH WHAT IS UNCLEAN; And I will welcome you. And I will be a father to you, And you shall be sons and daughters to Me, Says the Lord Almighty" (2 Corinthians 6:14-18 NASBR)

 

1. Now that is a long passage isn’t it? So what does it say? It is saying that our best friends must not be people who do not even believe in God. That is because we do not have anything good in common with people who do not believe in God. Do bad girls go to worship? Do bad girls dress modestly? Do bad girls make sure they do not cuss or use ugly words? Do bad girls respect their teachers and their parents? Are bad girls obedient to their parents? Do bad girls study their Bibles?  Do bad girls try to find out what God wants them to do? Are bad girls happy with the things they have or do they just want more things all the time? Do bad girls say no to drugs? Do bad girls follow the proper rules of dating? Do bad girls help out around the home? And so I could just go on and on couldn’t I?

 

a. So do you see, you do not have much in common with bad girls do you?

 

b. If your best friends are bad girls then maybe you are a bad girl? Well, if you keep hanging out with bad girls then you will become a bad girl and I am very sure about that!

 

2. Now that passage also says you must separate yourself from those people who do not believe in God. Now some of you girls might say, “Oh, how can I do that because I go to school everyday and there they are!” Well, it is not saying you cannot even talk to those bad girls but it means you do not need those bad girls as your friends because you have nothing in common with them. So you can talk to them and be polite. So what can you do?

 

a. You can be a good example by not using bad language, by not dressing immorally, by not talking about sexy stuff, by not going to bad places with them and things like that.

 

"Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe" (1 Timothy 4:12 NASBR)

 

b. You can start looking around in your school for good girls. Now there are a lot of girls in a school so there must be some good girls there and so you need to find them and make friends with them. Maybe you can read your Bible together at break times.

 

3. Now that passage also says that if we do what God says about that then he will be our Father and we will be His daughters. That is a good promise and that is what we want. God will not be our Father if we hang out with bad girls and we do not even care.

 

C. Let us look how bad friends influence you. Now you need to read 2 Samuel 13.1-39.

 

1. Amnon had a half sister called Tamar and he wanted to do all that sexy stuff with her but he did not know how to go about it. So he told his friend Jonadab about that and he was very sneaky and he told Amnon how to go about doing all that sexy stuff with Tamar. So that is what he did.

 

2. So what happened? Well, Amanon was not very happy and he even hated Tamar after that. Tamar was very unhappy because she had been raped. So do you remember what happened to Amnon after two years? He was killed by his brother Absalom. Now if Amnon had a good friend then all that would probably not have happened. So that is what happens when you choose bad friends.

 

III. A Warning To Bad Girls

 

A. Now the Bible says that you must not choose friends that are bad girls because you do not even have anything in common with them, and if you do choose bad girls as your friends then you will become a bad girl. If you say, “Oh, I will not become a bad girl” then you are fooling yourself and even saying that God does not know what He is talking about! If God says that bad company corrupts good morals then it is true. Do you believe God or do you think He does not even know what He is talking about?

 

B. So what happens to bad girls? Now if you are 13, 14, 15, or even 16 years old like me then you have not even been alive for very long to know what happens to bad girls have you? But if you ask your parents or grandparents or other old people then they will tell you because they have been alive a long time and so they have seen what happens to bad girls. But you can still look around at those bad girls who are 18 right up to 30 years old and see for yourself what happens. So this is what will happen…

 

1. While you are still at school…

 

a. Good girls will not want to be your friend because you are a bad girl and so you will just keep on getting even more bad (2 Timothy 3:13).

 

b. You will not think that education is very important and so your grades will be bad and even get worse.

 

c. You will not have any respect from adults like teachers or your parents and they definitely will not trust you.

 

d. You will have arguments with your teachers and parents and become unhappy and then you will just hang out with your bad friends and get worse.

 

2. When you go to college. Now if you are not a really bad girl then maybe you might qualify to go to college. There are a lot of bad things that go on at college that are worse than what goes on at school. My friend Amanda has been telling me all about that. This is what she sees…

 

a. Many of those students are drinking and getting drunk and taking drugs all the time. Some get sick and their grades go down and they get expelled from college.

  

b. A lot of students do all that sexy stuff all the time and some get sexually transmitted diseases, some girls get pregnant and have abortions, and some are raped, and she says a lot of those girls seem like they are very happy doing all those things but one girl she talked to said she was very sad because boys just want sexy stuff all the time and she does not feel loved, just used.

 

c. You start going to places like clubs and other bad places where there is a lot of things going on that are even worse. I do not even want to talk about that though.

 

d. Your relationship with your parents gets worse. They are very disappointed in you and so you become more rebellious and get even more unhappy.

 

3. When you just leave school.

 

a. Bad girls hang out with bad people and you will have friends who tell you lies, steal from shops, tell sick jokes, drink, smoke, take drugs, dress like tramps, hang around in bars, and who are just like you. Nice people will not like you at all.

 

b. Because you are such a bad girl then you will probably end with three babies by three men and have no husband. So you might be living in an apartment on welfare but you will not have any money, no nice things, you will not be able to work because you will have three babies to look after and you will just be stuck inside the house the whole time.

 

c. If you hadn’t had those babies yet then maybe you might get work but it will not be a very good job and the pay will not be very good.

 

d. Now do you think a bad girl like that who sleeps around and has three babies will find a nice husband to love and take care of them? Huh! Why do they want a nice husband? They are not nice are they? Sorry, you are a bad girl and no nice man will want a bad girl like that. You will just attract bad men and have more babies and get more and more unhappy.

 

4. Your children. Now what about your children? That is easy…they will turn out just like you!

 

IV. There Is A Better Way

 

A. Now all that is a bit gloomy and depressing isn’t it? But you do not have to end up like that at all, no. You can end up with a good education, a good career, a nice house, a really nice husband who loves you and takes good care of you and your beautiful children, have parents who are very proud of you, have people trust and respect you, have very nice friends, and go to a good church where everyone is very kind and loving. And so you will be very happy by doing what God wants you to do.

 

B. So how can you have all those good things? By choosing the right friends now. The people you choose as friends are the people who are going to influence your thinking and your behavior whether for good or for bad. The choice is yours.

 

Conclusion

 

1. Do you care about pleasing God? If you do then you will try and find out what God wants you to do by studying your Bible to see what God says.

 

2. God says that bad company corrupts good morals and God knows what He is talking about and it is true. So if you hang out with bad girls (and boys) then you will become a bad girl.

 

 

3. You should not want to even hang out with bad girls because you do not even have anything in common with them. If you do have lots of things in common with bad girls then maybe you are a bad girl! But God says you must separate yourself from those bad girls and then He will be your Father and He will call you His daughter.

 

4. You are the one who chooses to be a good girl or a bad girl. If you choose to be a bad girl then you will think you are having fun but you will probably end up stuck in an apartment on welfare with three babies to look after and no man will want a bad girl like that. So you will be very unhappy the rest of your life. Your parents will be very disappointed in you and so will God. It is your choice.

 

5. There is a better way you know. If you choose your friends carefully now while you are young then they will be a good influence on you and help you to do what God wants. You can end up being very blessed and very happy.

 

6. So can you see how important it is to choose your friends wisely? You have to be very strong minded to choose good friends and say no to bad friends but the choice is yours.

 

Note:  This article inspired Carolyn to write a poem with these thoughts:  Choose Good Friends

 

Articles by Becky Rene   Bible Study with Harley

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