A Christian Home

Becky Adele Rene

Introduction

1. This is a lesson for parents about what a Christian home should be like.

2. Now there are lots of things we could talk about but we will just talk about these things…

a. Spiritual training.

b. Moral instruction.

3. But before we even start to think about training and instruction, we have to talk about…

Body

I. Structure in the Home

A. I think you already understand that there has to be structure in the church, don’t you? There has to be leadership, routine, order and discipline.

1. Leadership: God has said that elders should be in charge of the church (1 Timothy 3:5; 5:17; 1 Thessalonians 5:12; Hebrews 13:7, 17; Acts 20:28; 1 Peter 5:2-3).

2. Routine: we meet every Sunday at a certain time for worship (Acts 20:7; comp. Acts 3:1) and, maybe, we meet on other days at certain times for Bible study (Acts 5:42). You do not need much of a brain to realize what would happen if you just said to everyone, “Oh, just come to worship on any day at any time, and come to Bible studies on any days at any time you want.”

3. Order: whenever we meet, we all understand that things must be planned. So, you have to start at a certain time and you have prayers, a sermon, a bible study, the Lord’s Supper, songs, readings, and a collection. The church at Corinth was in a bit of a mess and that is why Paul said to them, “Let all things be done decently and in order” (1 Corinthians 14:40). Can you imagine what it would be like if some were teaching, singing, and having the Lord’s Supper all at the same time?

4. Discipline: if people are not behaving properly then they have to be disciplined. This can be done by admonishing, rebuking, or disfellowshiping. Paul wrote to the Corinthians and admonished and rebuked them about a lot of things (e.G., 1 Corinthians 11:17-22), didn’t he? Well, that is discipline. Paul also told the church to withdraw from a man who was immoral, and that is discipline (1 Corinthians 5:1-7). What would the church be like if no one was ever disciplined?

B. Now, the same is true about the home, there has to be structure: there must be leadership, routine, order, and discipline or the whole house will be a mad house, won’t it?

1. Leadership and roles within the family:

a. It is the husband who is to be the head and leader of the family:

"But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:3 NASBR)

"For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything" (Ephesians 5:23-24 NASBR)

"He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?)" (1 Timothy 3:4-5 NASBR)

"Deacons must be husbands of only one wife, and good managers of their children and their own households" (1 Timothy 3:12 NASBR)

b. The wife is the keeper of the house. “To be a keeper of the house implies a measure of leadership and authority. Note how children are admonished to obey both parents in Ephesians 6:1” (My daddy said that).

"Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach" (1 Timothy 5:14 NASBR)

"She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness" (Proverbs 31:27 NASBR)

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored" (Titus 2:3-5 NASBR)

c. Children have to be obedient to their parents, like Jesus was (Luke 2:51):

"'Every one of you shall reverence his mother and his father, and you shall keep My Sabbaths; I am the LORD your God" (Leviticus 19:3 NASBR)

"Hear, my son, your father's instruction And do not forsake your mother's teaching" (Proverbs 1:8 NASBR)

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right" (Ephesians 6:1 NASBR)

"Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord" (Colossians 3:20 NASBR)

2. There has to be routine and order in a household: this just makes plain sense, you cannot have everyone doing things whenever they want and all around the wrong way can you? Moms have to get up early, fix breakfast, and then wake everyone up. Dad has to go to work by 7am and the children have to be ready for schooling by 7.30am. Then moms have to home-school, clean, wash, and get lunch and supper ready.

"An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong. She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen. Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all. Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates" (Proverbs 31:10-31 NASBR)

3. Parents have to have discipline and train their children.

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4 NASBR)

"Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die" (Proverbs 23:13 NASBR)

II. A Typical Christian Home

A. So, what goes on in a Christian home? What is life like for children in a Christian home? Now, I am going to tell you what happens on Monday morning and everything here is just an example:

1. The alarm goes off at 6am and mom and dad get up, shower, and dress. Dad is preparing to go to work and mom is preparing for her day at home.

2. Mom calls her two daughters, Becky and Rachel, to get up. While they shower and dress, mom goes downstairs and prepares breakfast for everyone. Dad is watching the news on TV to see what is going on in the world.

3. Then everyone sits down for breakfast. It is very important that everyone sits at the table to eat because this teaches children discipline. Then everyone holds hands and dad says a prayer to give thanks for their breakfast. It is very important to give thanks for every meal because this is what the Bible says we must do and it is a part of the children’s spiritual training.

"Pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:17-18 NASBR)

"For every creature of God is good, and nothing is to be rejected, if it be received with thanksgiving" (1 Timothy 4:4 ASV)

4. After breakfast, you should have a family prayer. Everyone holds hands and dad leads in a prayer. He should prayer for God’s blessings on them throughout the day, strength to resist temptations, self-control in what we think and say and do. You might think of some other appropriate things for a morning prayer as well.

"Pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17 NASBR)

5. So, dad goes to work (2 Thessalonians 3:10) and mom has to start her day now (1 Timothy 5:14).

a. So, she starts school at 8.30am. You should have normal school lessons and you should have Bible classes as well where you learn about morality. Now, it is very important to home-school your children and not send them to a state school because they are full of children who are very worldly and your children will forget what you teach them and become ungodly. Look what the Bible says…

"Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14 NASBR)

"Do not be deceived: Bad company corrupts good morals" (1 Corinthians 15:33 NASBR)

1) The Bible says, “You shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed” (Leviticus 19:19) or the field will become defiled (Deuteronomy 22:9). This means that you cannot teach them good morals at home and then send them to school to learn bad morals; their minds will become defiled.

2) If you cannot see that, then you are deceiving yourself. You have to bring up children in the way they should go, not a mixture of the way they should go at home and the way they should not go in a state school.

"Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6 NASBR)

b. So while those girls are busy doing school work, mom can get on with other things around the house, like, cleaning, washing, and other stuff. Yes, moms have to work very hard don’t they? That is why young girls need a lot of teaching from experienced wives about that (Titus 2:3-4).

c. Then she fixes lunch and everyone sits around the table and mom gives thanks. Everyone stays seated at the table until everyone has finished. This is teaching discipline.

6. Dad comes home at 6pm.

a. So, mom showers first then dad and then the girls. After that, dad gives thanks and everyone has supper.

b. Then it is time for the family devotional where you have prayers, singing, and a Bible study.

c. Then you have social time where you all talk about your day and play games. If you have a TV then you have to be very careful about what you watch. It is ok to watch educational programs and to watch a movie on pizza night but that is all. I used to watch soaps and a lot of children’s programs but I do not watch them anymore because I can see they are a bad influence. You might just as well go to a state school as watch TV because the same thing happens…your good morals get corrupted.

d. Then it is time for those girls to go to bed and so you make sure they say their prayers.

B. So that is what happens on a normal day in a Christian home. But there are lots of other things that you must do as well. So here is a list of things…

1. Give thanks for every meal and always make sure everyone eats at the table. This is good for discipline. I was talking to someone I know and I said, “Do you give thanks at every meal?” and she says, “Well, most of the time but not always.” So I showed her what the Bible says about that and now she gives thanks for every meal. I think her parents should be ashamed about that.

2. Make sure you always have a family prayer in the morning and a family devotional after supper. The Bible says that parents have to teach their children all about what God says and so that is why you have to have a regular study to do that. Have as many Bible studies as you can because this is how they get moral instruction (2 Timothy 3:14-17).

"These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up" (Deuteronomy 6:6-7 NASBR)

3. Have one day a week where you have Bible readings so your children learn how to become good at reading aloud. That is very important for boys to learn. On that same day, have singing practice and teach your children how to sing. When I lived in England we went to worship in the chapel on the base for a while and there were about 3 children there about 7 years old, and guess what? None of them was even singing! I think those parents should be very ashamed about that, they really should. So that is why you have to have singing practice and teach your children how to sing.

4. It is very important to have discipline. Now, discipline is not just when you tell your children off when they are rebellious, no; it is a part of discipline. Discipline is training. You cannot just let your children do what they want all the time and just tell them off when they do something bad; that is not training. You have to have structure. I think I will have to give you an example: imagine you had three pretty daughters, Becky, Becca, and Hannah. Now, Becky is 16, Becca is 14, and Hannah is 8. So here is how it works…

a. Responsibilities. Children are not just responsible all on their own; you have to teach them about it. So, make sure that each of those girls has responsibilities. There are things that they are all responsible for, like, making their beds in the morning and keeping their rooms tidy. There are other responsibilities that each one has according to their age. So, you have to figure out who is going to be responsible for going to the store to get things you forgot, who is going to take out the trash, who is going to wash the dishes, who is going to wash the car, etc.

b. Privileges. When your children act responsibly then they can have privileges. So, because Becky is 16 and very responsible she is allowed to stay up until 10pm, buy her own clothes, wear makeup, and have a cell phone. Now those younger girls have different privileges and they can look forward to having the same privileges as Becky when they get older, but only if they are responsible.

c. Allowances. You should open an account for your children as soon as they are born and start putting money into it every month for when they get older (2 Corinthians 12:14; Proverbs 13:22; 19:14). Now, when they reach 8, maybe, you can start giving them an allowance. So, when the first child is 8, you give a $20 allowance; some of it she has to put into her account and some of it she can spend on nice things she wants; as long as she spends that money responsibly. Each child gets a different amount so they can look forward to a bigger allowance as they get older.

d. Discipline or punishment. Now that each child has responsibilities, privileges, and an allowance, you have different ways of punishing rebellious children. So, if Becca is naughty then you could give her extra chores for a week, take away some of her privileges, or reduce her allowance for a while. When I was 12, I told mom a big lie and she found out; so I had to do extra chores, I was not allowed to sleepover at my friend’s house, and I only got half my allowance. Wow! But guess what? I did not tell lies again after that!

Conclusion

1. Just as you have to have leadership, routine, order, and discipline in the church, you have to have leadership, routine, order, and discipline in the home. God has made the husband the head and leader of the home and it is the husband’s responsibility to establish routine, order, and discipline.

2. I have shown you what it should be like on a typical day in a Christian home and it is up to you parents to make sure you keep this routine so things run smoothly. The whole day should be about teaching your children about responsibility, morality, and what God says. This is how you bring up children in the nurture of the Lord.

3. Now let me tell you what will happen if you do not listen to what I have said…

a. This is what will happen as they are growing up…

1) If you do not give thanks for your food at every meal then your children will not think it is very important to do that. So, when they become adults, they might give thanks for their meals sometimes but it will be even less. They might not even give thanks at all. That is because they learned from you that it is not important. Do you think your grandchildren will be worse?

2) If you do not have family prayers in the morning, at lunch time, and in the evening, and make sure they say their bed time prayers, then they will see that prayer is not very important and they will not learn what praying is all about. So I do not think they will pray very much at all. Do you think your grandchildren will be worse?

3) If you do not have Bible readings and studies in the morning, at lunch time, and a devotional in the evening then your children will grow up not knowing much about what God says, they will not bother to study their Bibles by themselves, and they will not even know very much about what the Bible says. Do you think your grandchildren will be worse?

4) If you send your children to a state school then they will learn all about selfishness, lying, deceit, bad language, and just so many other bad things from those bad children. They might start having sex, taking drugs, drinking, stealing and other bad things. It is very irresponsible and very wrong to put a developing and impressionable child into a bad place like that. Remember, you cannot sow two types of seed in the same soil.

5) If you do not give your children responsibilities, privileges, and an allowance then they will not learn to be responsible and you will find it very hard to punish them when they are rebellious.

b. This is what will happen when they are they are grown up…

1) If you have boys then they will probably go around getting girls pregnant, getting drunk, taking drugs, and they will not have very good jobs. I do not think boys like that would make very good husbands and your grandchildren will probably turn out just as bad.

2) If you have girls then they will probably go around having sex with different boys and end up pregnant. So, they might be living in a horrible apartment somewhere on social or they might even move back home and leave you to look after the baby while they go out having fun with their friends.

4. But if you listen to what I say then they will grow up to be faithful and obedient Christians, and your grandchildren will probably end up the same.

That is all.

These are some articles I read before I started making my lesson:

www.christianadhd.com/structure.php

www.ourchurch.com/view/?pageID=111306

www.bibletruths.net/Archives/BTAR189.htm

www.studywell.org/articles/childrenfdm.htm

www.seagoville.org/godly.htm

www.unityarp.org/Godlyhome.shtml

www.studywell.org/articles/dedicatedparents.htm

www.journals.aol.com/cmt27587/Thorpe/entries/612

www.journals.aol.com/cmt27587/Thorpe/entries/615

www.thinkingofhomeschooling.org/Jan2005e-news.htm